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this, that, and some other stuff. ...for the record, i don't hate you. i never have, and most likely never will. oh, and so you know, DTP isn't completely finished. a bunch of us are working on next year's planner. also, the blocks that are desktop block are for people who are in the course, and worked in order to earn the right to have a semi-empty place to work for the remainder of the year, whether it's desktop-related or not. okay. this isn't something i did TO you. yeah, it affected you, but usually when you do something to someone, you either intend it, or it directly involves them. that's not quite the case here. i'm not saying i didn't know you wouldn't be happy about it, or that i thought you would be "okay" with it. that said though, how do you weigh one piece of your heart over another? it simply can't be done. so i stopped rationalizing, and trying to predict, and i reacted. i threw all the pieces into the air, and i hoped that they all fell into either the right place, or a new place that was better for them. some things did, and some things didn't. there's your magical explanation...that there isn't one. this wasn't planned. it was barely thought out. although, while we're on the topic of how i could "do" this to you.....how could you "do" this to sarah? not that it's any excuse, but it certainly puts things in perspective. just remember.....i'm not the one who said i didn't want to be your friend anymore. and it's not so much what wasn't good enough for you....it's what didn't work for you. we're two different people, and what's right for you may not be right for me and vice versa. i truly did mean what i said(wrote) and i still do. there's a plan for eveyone in life, (and not one they make themselves) and i don't think that yours is to be alone. therefore, there must be something "better". and that's something that's better for YOU, not better in a general comparison to someone else....people don't have a set worth. especially when it comes to love. a side note....my personal journal. not entirely personal. but it was originally (and is currently) locked, and diaryland decided to malfunction at some point and not lock it. i never noticed, because i don't actually look at that page to often. and the 2+2 comment in my list of things has absolutely nothing to do with you. or anything else of current relevance. it's something between me and meaghan, and she accidentally brought it up the other day, and it stuck in my head a bit. (the difference between us is negative one is from an age of electric song, and just fit with the theme of math, in case you thought it was somehow about you too) hey....when you say you're a better christian than a lot of people you know, are you talking about people in general, or christian people you know? because in order to be a "better christian" there's something important you forgot. god. you have to do more than just not deny his existance. (y'know...to go along with your agnostic beliefs....although, the atheist in you doesn't believe god exists at all...) christianity is more about believing than being "pure". people are imperfect. it's about repentance, not being completely free of sin. also, as a christian you wouldn't "shop" for religion. you'd spread the word about the religion you already have. you're not better or above people, especially when it comes to being something you're not. |