all the colours of the wind
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02.05.2003 @ 1:29 am
we-ell....since the current trend of the moment seems to be the
colorgenics mood analysis dealie, i figured i would jump on the bandwagon and take it too...
At this particular time you are perhaps setting yourself too high a target and so you are living in the land of 'make believe'. It would also seem that you have been bitterly disappointed in the past and you are at a stage where you feel that you can trust nobody. You would like to forget it all and turn your back on the past and start anew.
Everything seems to be going against you at this time. Try as you may you are meeting with considerable resistance at every turn. Nothing is going as you would plan. The situation is difficult and you are trying to persist in your objectives against resistance. It would appear that you are being very secretive about your future plans just in case people around you try to thwart you.
You have a high opinion of yourself. It is perhaps because of this self-centeredness that you become exasperated when you feel that your needs are misinterpreted by those around you. When this happens - and it does quite often - you feel that there is no-one that can understand the way you feel and it is because of this egocentric self that you are quick to take offense.
You are experiencing extreme emotional disappointment because it would seem that a particular relationship is no longer running smoothly. You would like to break away from this involvement completely and yet, if this were to happen, then its possible that something very important to you would be lost. You are in a quandary. You are not sure which way to turn. So on the one hand, you would like to free yourself from this attachment altogether, yet on the other, you do not want to lose anything nor risk uncertainty and the possibility of further disappointment. These contradictory and opposing emotions are now causing you considerable stress but you are putting on a brave face - pretending that you don't care.
Circumstances are such that you have been exposed to considerable stress and tension, perhaps due to unfulfilled emotional needs. You would like nothing better than to escape from it all by retiring to some 'fantasy land' where you are permitted to RELAX and get back your strength.
You need to be needed and would like a situation where you will no longer be subjected to pressures and demands from those about you. There is no harm in 'dreaming' but it is you - and only you - that can be able to realize those dreams and to turn them into reality.
it's rather....interesting i suppose. some parts are completely wrong, and other parts are so right it's frightening....
it's funny, i actually thought that putting that at the top would make writing the rest of this entry easier. but no, i get to this point, and it seems like there's a giant brick wall where there used to be stuff i wanted to write about...so pretty much like trying to talk about it.
today i was all...unhappy-ish and stuff. dunno why, just happened that way. and i slept in, and was still in bed when hil got here to pick me up. thankfully, she's not all mad about it though. which is probably because she is wonderful and we share a brain. but uh, just for the record, i do NOT have curl papers...just in case you were wondering.
school was all kinda...meh and stuff. it felt really really long, and i failed an english test. plus, ms o'brien wasn't there, and choir sucked ass too. we-ell...except for the whole part where i threw a bag of dice at rob's head. that was pretty cool. stagecraft this afternoon was all boring and stuff as well. there's nothing left to actually build, so now we're all about the painting-type stuff. which is just not as cool.
ever notice how over-used the word
stuff is? and i seem to be using it a whole lot today. it's the word that fits all the moments where i don't want to go all into describing stuff and providing details. yay for...stuff.
i got a splinter this afternoon, and then dug it out with a pin. so now, there's a really little cut on my finger. but it stings. and that's not really a happy thing...
i also yelled at adam in stagecraft today for always touching me. it's really creepy and stuff, and i wasn't in a good mood to begin with. i think i got my point across though.
then i went and hung out with ryan after stagecraft, and watched lilo and stitch. which was all cute, and sad, and funny. it was all sad in the parts where the other little kids were mean to lilo...totally reminded me of being little and not having friends. (this would normally be the part where i throw in that i still have no friends. but that's totally not true at all. i have some of the most amazing friends a person could ever hope to meet.)
'born to kill'
matthew good band
there's a big beat
you're spinning in my tv
a magician
the antidote
so i'm with him
floating loaded
enough to be released
it's more than the less you say you do
it's more than the shot that gets you throuhg
born to buy into something
born to kill
there'a a big beat
you're sleeping in my memory
like satan
lonely so i'm with him
floating, loaded
enough to be released
it's more than the less you say you do
it's more than the shot that gets you through
born to buy into something
born to kill.