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time is never time at all although, i suppose that the fact that i spent three hours on the phone with one of the most amazing people i'll ever know might have something to do with it. we managed to catch each other at just the right moment, so that we could slip back in time and just for a little bit pretend that things are like they used to be. although...not really. i suppose we just....fell together like old times. and sat and had a constant stream of conversation for 2 hours. there wasn't that lag that tends to happen on the phone where someone is thinking of something to say. there wasn't any sort of awkwardness. just...talk. about everything. i've missed that. just that sort of comfortable conversation that could last forever if you let it. the weekend's over again. i hate sunday nights. i'm also dreading the whole "ooo look, there's a play happening this week" deal that starts tomorrow, and causes me to be at school for a really long time. and the whole idea that i have to do a lot of writing this week. ugh. i'm going to stop whining about school, because it's rather unproductive....it doesn't help get anything done, and it certainly doesn't make me feel any better. i'm still somewhere in between numb and....not numb. i used to think that numb was the middle ground between sad and happy. but....it's not. i think it's more like the area around it.....kind of like numb is a moat, around the castle of human emotions. it's like armor....or a mask....something to protect you. i'm starting to settle into the calmer phase of my brain. where the thought processes slow down enough that i can manage to keep track of all of it. things start to make a lot more sense when this happens. the funny part is, even though it's "slowed-down", i'm still having trouble keeping up to it to type it out or write it down. there's all the little side thoughts that are inspired by something, and there's always the choice between following the original thought, or abandoning it in favour of something else. speaking of choice....went to see the matrix: reloaded tonight, and it was wicked amazing. and stuff. there were explosions, and shiny things, and some flashy lights thrown in too. so on a scale of bells to cookies, i give this movie a rating of blanket. i'm slowly losing interest in finishing this....i gave up on it for a bit in favour of things that were more important, and i'm not really sure that i'm into it anymore. i think i'm going to head to bed early and read for a bit, because i'm bad at leaving time to do that. ...we'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight |