so tired of being here...
<< - >>
04.06.2003 @ 11:21 pm

i don't write this for anyone but me. and unlike some, i'm not looking for a response or a reaction to what i write about. and i'm certainly less than fond of having everything i write judged on a scale of your mood to how much you hate me. and not even judged to my face. if you have something to say about me, why wouldn't you address the issue with me? i don't really see the point in going through "the public" just to get to me.

and it doesn't seem to matter what it is i write about. if i feel like i'm censoring myself, it's sad that i can't express my feelings. if i write about something personal, it's not as traumatic as what happened to you. well, y'know what? if you don't want to be anything like me, then stop comparing yourself to me. because if you truly don't want to be anything like me, it really shouldn't matter how we measure up to each other.

and i know, i should've probably adressed this directly to you, instead of doing it here. and that the basic response is going to be that if i don't like hearing things like that, then i should stop reading your diary. i guess maybe it's a similar thing that draws me there, as what draws you here. then again, you write them for me to read. using the word you as opposed to her, or even my name.

this is getting long. i've been repeating myself from the beginning because, indeed, i am just that interesting. so i'm going to just let it go. because there's nothing new to say.


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