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i'd like to fall asleep to the beat of you breathing... my dad comes home tomorrow. he decided that since he had this week off, he was going up to kelowna for a couple of days. which i totally knew would turn into the entire week. it's been kinda nice having the house to myself. at the same time, it's also kinda weird when i'm all by myself. it's not so much that i can't handle being alone, just that i get too used to it, and then i kinda dread the fact that it's going to end. of course, i'm totally not ready to actually live by myself though. i go back and forth on the idea of wanting to move out sometime in the near future. (and by near future, i mean like a couple months after grad. not like next week) in some ways, i'd totally love it. and in others...i'm just not complete enough to live on my own. but i'm liking this week so far. i managed to get caught up with a couple people i don't see often, and that always tends to brighten my mood. had coffee with catherine on tuesday...and by coffee, i mean that we went and hung out somewhere the serves coffee, and had soup. yay for tim hortons. but mostly, it wasn't about soup. because, truth be told, i actually don't remember what kind of soup i had. just that i got to spend an hour catching up with a friend i miss. then, just when i thought it was going to be a long and lonely bus ride home, i ran into alistair on the bus. so i had someone to talk to for half the ride home. it's weird how you can cath up with someone in one conversation after not seeing them for a long time. i mean, a lot had happened since the last time you talked to them...but you run out of things to say rather quickly. not so much things to say, as stories to tell i guess. because there's always something to talk about. just...i guess the day to day kinds of stories don't really apply. you have to break it down into the big things, and get those over with first. and then, after that, the little things...that are a lot of times just as, if not more important...just don't seem to compare to the excitement of the first things you talked about... i bought cds today. haven't done that in awhile, so, just out of the sheer want for new music, i got ryan to stop at future shop on the way to my house. picked up the new ani difranco, and the new matt good. then, on the way home, wondered why i bothered to buy cds anymore. because really, yeah, i'll listen to them a couple times, but then i'll make a new mix cd and be overly obsessed with that. then again, mix cds never have incredibly cool compartmentalized (yeah, it is a word.) cases that are kinda shiny and have a butterfly on them, now do they? and yes, that does make it worth it... i realized recently that...no indeed, photoshop is really not as difficult as i thought it was to begin with. sure, to start off, it's all difficult, and made me feel all defective, in the sense that all i could figure out how to draw were stick people. and even they sucked. but now it's better, and i wish i had more time to play around with it. except i can't even give up my sleep for that, because i already gave that up to memorize hamlet. *sigh* i need some sort of way to put more hours in a day... and i figured it out today. it, of course, being what the most relaxing thing is. and no, it's not sleep. because, when you think about it, sleep isn't really all that relaxing, being that you can't actually remember what sleep feels like. its closely related to sleep though. it's holding someone else, while they sleep. because, after that, it's almost like you slept yourself. i'm not quite sure how that works. maybe because being around someone who is that relaxed automatically forces you to relax, through sheer osmosis. or maybe, it's some sort of magical sleep-vibe that sleeping people give off. or maybe...i don't know. maybe there's some other answer that i haven't figured out yet... |